Alchololics Feel No Shame?

Shamesters:

I have just received this illuminating empirical data from the Shame Lab in Austin, Texas. Our researchers have confirmed what many of us have no doubt suspected about shame since that one time your older cousin Mae let you try beer for the first time at the family Picnic when you were 13... As Blood Alcohol Content rises, the human "animal" becomes impervious to shame. Through intense Homo Sapien and believe it or not, Ursus maritimus, testing it has been shown that this phenomenon is quite powerful.

Our head science guy in Texas, Shamus O'Houlihan, has identified this correlation between BAC and shame as a sort of "shame force-field". It seems as though both humans and Ursus maritimus are not capable of feeling ANY meaningful amount of shame as the alcohol content of their blood approaches double that of the legal limit.

The significance of this finding should be clear... If at any time you feel shame creeping up on you, lets say as you ready yourself to deliver a cross-examination in TrialAd and find your self with an inexplicably stiffening "baby arm", simply reach for your old and trusted friend, Forty Creek. Rock that hard-on in plain sight as you shoot your BAC through the roof. Shame no more.

Of course... What goes up, must come down. Literally. When your BAC falls, or rather when you wake up in the hallway of your apartment complex face down in your Smoke's Triple Pork poutine at 6:47 am on a Wednesday, your shame levels are sure to have sky rocketed.

This begs the question, my partners in sham-e-nomics, is it better to have drank and shamed, or to have never drank at all? This is the question we must all face. Hauntingly enough, it seems... which ever we choose, our shame is there to greet us.

- Yours, always, in shame

Private Shame

Ps, This just in... It is impossible to feel shame in the 46 minutes it takes to listen to Vivaldi: Four Seasons. Use this information wisely, my friends.